Make them drunk first, then grill ’em & finally devour ’em. Errrr, beef. Just speaking of beef.

My grandmother believed that there are two inevitable lores concerning the german weather.

First: The weather in Germany is crap. Always. At least if you buy into the Germans who ongoingly complain about the weather. No matter what kind of weather it really is. Second: There is only one exception to law number one. If Germans have planned a barbeque the weather is always fine. In case of doubt they are doing their barbeque in the middle of a boulder period.

She was skating on thin ice of course because hungary is vey well known for the rustic swing grill & shashlik. Would you like me to post a recipe on that?

Kerti sütés! Barbeque! Grillabend!

If I imagine what a stereotype german summer looks like the first thing coming to mind are Barbeques – Grillabende. At least two a week. You meet at somebodys terrace, chill on the fire, drink a lot of beer and eat grilled pork & beef. To me a typical german barbeque does not contain high-quality meat. It’s more rustic.

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I personally don’t like those rustic types of meat. Yes, you are right. I am vegetarian and I don’t like meat the one way or the other. But I do not like to feed my friends with those rustic types of meat either. The reason is rather obvious. Sausages, chops & dried meat are not made of high-grade meat. They usually contain a lot of fat and only a few “good” nutrients.

When it is Grillabend and you want your german friends to swear off their beloved (greasy) meat … you are in great danger ;-)

That’s why I headed for some trade off. I used rumpsteak which is a very good part of the beef and still contains enough fat to be very tasty. I additonally decided to spice up the Grillabend with fresh clawfish. We don’t need to talk about the reason, do we? Awesome meat which is easy to process and very tasty. Gorgeous nutrients: no more than 1,9g (~ 0,004lbs) fat on 100g (~ 0,2lbs) and therefrom 0,8g (~ 0,002lbs) polyunsaturated fatty acid.

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Let me kindly ask you to not save on the beef. Buy good beef. Well marbled. I personally prefer french charolais (you can find a few farmers that are raising that old & solid breed in germany too) or swiss simmentaler (some people say you can still sense the taste of unspoiled alp-herbs in their meat). No matter what breed you choose make sure that the beef is dry aged (or at least well hung).

Trust me on meat. I am vegetarian.

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Having premium quality stuff like rumpsteak and clawfish there’s nothing wrong to put them on the grill right the way they are. But I wanted to them tender & tasty.

That’s why I decided to give those soakers a bath in red & white wine.

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What do you need?

Beef & Fish:

  • 4 x 300g (~ 0,7lbs) rumpsteak (I strongly recommend to invest in dry aged beef)
  • 1000g (~2,2lbs) fresh! clawfish (make sure to remove the poo-and-pee-stuff before you put them into the marinade)

Marinade for the Beef:

  • 500ml (~17 ounces) red wine (preferably dry)
  • 1 vanilla bean (I alwais use the tahiti ones)
  • some thyme (fresh or dried)
  • some salt, pepper & poison tonka
  • some olive oil

Marinade for the Clawfish:

  • 500ml (~17 ounces) white wine
  • 1 chilli, chopped
  • 1 glove of garlic, chopped
  • some thyme (fresh or dried)
  • some salt, pepper & poison tonka
  • some olive oil

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What do you do?

  1. Break the bottle of red wine & make a mess
  2. Take a picture of the scene and send it to your best friend
  3. Await her arriving with a couple of garbage bags, a bone saw and a shovel

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What do you *really* do?

Marinade for the Beef:

  1. Cut the vanilla bean & scratch out the mark
  2. Add the red wine into a large bowl and fold in the vanilla bean mark
  3. Add spices, herbs & oil
  4. Fill everything into a box (which you can close)
  5. Add the beef and let it rest for at least 12 hours

Marinade for the Clawfish:

  1. Fill white wine into a large bowl
  2. Add chopped garlic and chilli
  3. Add spices, herbs & oil
  4. Fill everything into a box (which you can close)
  5. Add the clawfish and let it rest for at least 12 hours

I won’t give you serious advice on how to barbeque this shit.

I will tell you how I did it. But there are a lot of people out there who are doing it better. Perhaps you should do some research before starting. Errr, one thing is important nevertheless: you of course remove the marinade before you barbeque.

Meat: Put the meat on the grill. Turn it so often that you come to the decision that you will never barbeque again. Remove when medium rare (if you push your thumb into the meat and it feels like the back of your hand: the steak is just perfect) and let it chill for at least 5 minutes. Serve.

Clawfish: Wrap the clawfish in aluminium foil. Place them in the coals. Let them roast for about 15 minutes. Serve.

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What do you do with the leftover marinade?

Marinade for the Beef:

  1. Fill the marinade into a small pot
  2. Thicken it by boiling (probably takes one or two hours)
  3. Add szechuan pepper, salt & poison garlic
  4. Add a hint of balsamico vinegar
  5. Add 5 chopped tomatoes (peeled!)
  6. Keep boiling until the tomatoes are drained
  7. Chop 1 peperoni and add it
  8. Voilá the barbeque dip is ready for serving

Marinade for the Clawfish:

  1. Fill the marinade into a small pot
  2. Thicken it by boiling (probably takes one or two hours)
  3. Add white pepper, salt & poison garlic
  4. Remove the marinade from the cooker
  5. Add a hint of balsamico vinegar
  6. Add 1 cup creme fraiché (the low fat version is just fine!)
  7. Add a lot of mustard and some honey
  8. Add chopped thyme & some dried oregano
  9. Voilá the white barbeque dip is ready for serving

Finally, the Food Couture!

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Unfortunately I missed to take a very good picture of the result. But it was very tasty.

Co-Stars in the picture: mozarella & tomatoes honeydrew melon; honeydrew-melon with bacon; blossom-butter with a hint of red wine; lemon-thyme-butter;

Oh, there is one more thing that makes a Grillabend very german. You don’t leave after dinner. You don’t clear away the table. You just keep sitting there. Talking. Drinking. Laughing. Watching the sunset. Watching the nightsky.

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Lecker! Tasty! Ìzletes!

Love,
V.

PS. No boyfriend was harmed for this post. The pool of blood is no more than red wine. Okay. Okay. Okay. He was harmed. But only in his drinking habits ;)

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